Let's Set This Circus Down

Soooo... I was doing a lot of thinking this weekend... No, not just random 'Megan Thinking' (speaking of random thinking, I just read a review for this new book 'Why Do Men Have Nipples: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini' - This TOTALLY sounds like my kind of book - I'm all about gaining totally interesting and thought-provoking, albeit useless knowledge about stuff), but actual, contemplative thinking - and I've come to some conclusions about my life.

*In general, I am a totally content, super happy person
*I have a family and friends who I love and mean the world to me, and I know they feel the same way about me
*I have a job that pays the bills and then some, so I never have to worry about going without.
*I live with a roof over my head, and food on my table, and foresee no reason for that to change
*I live in a country where I may disagree with many of the decisions our leaders make, but I can thank God I live in a country where I am free to openly disagree with many of the decisions our leaders make.
*I am in good health, as are the people closest to me (to the best of my knowledge)

That said, I've also come to some conclusions with things that I am unhappy about my life. They are things that have been bothering me for a little while, but to this point, I have not made any specific efforts to change them. Who is it that defines Insanity as doing the same thing over and over again the same way and expecting different results? Well, that's kind of what I feel like I've been doing lately, and I've come to the conclusion that some things are going to need to change.

My first rant involves my job. As I said before, I am very thankful that I have a job that pays enough that I have never had to worry about how I'm going to make ends meet, and I'm happy about that. However, I've come to the definitive realization that I HATE MY JOB! I mean, literally. I've always known that this was not exactly 'what I wanted to be when I grew up', but lately it's been becomming more and more clear to me that this job is going to make me crazy if I don't get away from it. I don't know why I took the job route that I chose in the first place, really... it's just kind of the way things fell into place. I could have told you at 12 years old that the LAST thing I would want to do is sit at a desk staring at a computer 8 hours a day. Seriously, when my sister and I were kids, my mother would take us to 'Take Your Daughter To Work Day'. This lasted... mmm... maybe two years for me, until I told my mom that I would seriously rather just be at school than sitting at her office all day. HELLO! You'd think this would be clue #1... but remember, 'Megan' means 'Dense Goofball' in at least 3 remote languages. Just last week, I was contemplating which was worse - my job now, or the 3 month stint I did at Wendy's back in high school (for those of you familiar with 'The Frosty Incident of '96' aka 'The Death of Megan's Self Esteem' you understand what an extreme this is). I literally have been trying to think of anything to do to keep from working (notice my exceptionally long-winded blogs lately??). Sew... and I know I have been saying this for, oh ummm, 4 years now (gawd has it been that frickin' long??), but I have decided to go back to school to finish my degree!!!! I'm gonna go to TCC and see if there are any classes available for me to take, since I'm pretty sure it's too late to sign up at UTA... plus I should probably take some 'practice classes' this semester to get me back into school mode. I know so many people who have decided to go back to school, and it's inspired me to do the same... so wish me the best, ok?? I'm gonna need it...

And on to rant #2... geez, I just realized how long this post is getting, and I still have so much more venting to do... I promise after today, no more long-winded rants for at least, say... 5 posts. Ok, rant #2... I'm seriously getting so tired of being single. It's been fun for a while, but it's getting real old real fast now. I think my thoughts on this subject would be best described in a short dramatic scene I have put together between myself and my two shoulder angels:


Megan: Hmmm... I'm bored with being single.

Megan's Good Shoulder Angel: Well, Megan... why don't you go and get yourself one of them boyfriend feller's so you don't have to be single anymore?

Megan: Well, that seems pretty simple, Good Shoulder Angel... but... I have been having trouble meeting the quality men that I would be interested in going on a second date with... or even a first date, to be quite honest.

Megan's Bad Shoulder Angel: But, Megan... don't you have so much fun hanging out with your friends and going to bars and clubs and stuff? We always have such a blast!!! By the way, that blouse your are wearing today is absolutely astounding!

Megan: Well, thanks Bad Shoulder Angel... and you're right, I do have a fun time going out, but I think lately I am realizing that I am really a homebody at heart, and I'd much rather just be chilling w/ that special someone. Going out is just something to do to fill the alone time, and don't get me wrong, it's great, but frankly going out to these places isn't getting me any closer to having that special someone... or getting pretty sparklies on my left ring finger someday.

Megan's Bad Shoulder Angel: Pfft! Pretty sparklies are SO overrated!! Besides, you have lots of cute bling anyway.

Megan: Oh, you don't understand. It's just not the same thing...

Megan's Good Shoulder Angel: I see what you mean, Megan. Maybe you should change up where you are meeting these men fellas. It sounds like maybe the club/bar thing just isn't kicking it for you anymore.

Megan: You are so right, Good Shoulder Angel! But where else could I go??

Megan's Good Shoulder Angel: Well, where do these 'good quality fellas' like to hang out? Maybe... the library? A book store? School? The gym?

Megan: I suppose, that's a start at least. So, you're saying maybe I should start frequenting places like this more often?

Megan's Good Shoulder Angel: I think it's a good start, and it can't hurt. Plus, it will give these fellas an opportunity to see that you are interested in things like knowledge and healthiness, and that's always a plus. Your really not gonna attract the kind of guy you're looking for boozing it up all the time

Megan's Bad Shoulder Angel: Have you ever thought of online dating? Or perhaps the 8-minute dating? I'll bet there are tons of fine hotties on the internet for your viewing and dating pleasure.

Megan: Well, to be quite honest, that whole 'online dating' thing just sorta gives me the creepy crawlies. There are just too many oogy guys out there, and with my luck, I would just end up getting all the freaks. I've thought of doing that 8-minute dating thing, but I don't know, how much can your really find out about a person in 8 minutes?

Megan's Bad Shoulder Angel: Fine!! Knock down all my good ideas, why don't you!!

Megan: I'm not knocking them... how about this... I'll put your ideas on the back burner in case Good Shoulder Angel's ideas don't work out,ok?

Megan's Bad Shoulder Angel: (mumbling) I'll put you on the back burner...

Megan: What's that??

Megan's Bad Shoulder Angel: oh, nothing...

(end scene)


So, hopefully I have made my point in a fun and comedic way. I'm gonna start maximizing the quality locations of my outtings, and minimizing my frequenting locations which are not condusive to good man finding. Wish me luck on this too... and any comments/ideas would be grrrrreatly appreciated!!!

Tah Tah!!!